I’m technically not a headcanon blog but wHO CARES I LOVE THE MAN okay uhhhh let’s see, let’s make a list here
– Would it be too obvious if I said something suicide-related
– Actually, seriously speaking, he’d probably enjoy a book, I think all the characters would considering the fact that they’re well, authors, and I’d like to pretend the suicide manual isn’t the only thing Dazai reads
– He’d probably enjoy an ugly Christmas sweater, especially if the person giving it to him had one to match (and if it was handmade he’d probably cry, somebody spent so much time making it for him)
– Generally, anything handmade, no matter how it turns out, would make Dazai happy to the point of tears, somebody cared enough about him to dedicate all their time to making him a gift
– If someone drew him something he’d probably frame it on the wall, if he received written work he’d read it to everyone, and he’d gobble down whatever food had been cooked for him, then, regardless of the gift type, would go around the Agency singing praises about the person who’d made it for him
– He’d get distracted by the pretty wrapping though, wrap up a gift in sparkly paper and big ribbons and he’ll be staring at it with awe and wonder for a good long while before actually opening it
– He’s an emotional sap you could literally give him a paperclip and he’d have it stashed in his trench coat pocket for luck
– Get the man a gift he’ll love you forever and he deserves it
– If someone played a joke on him with the gift tho he’d love that too, he’d think it was hilarious and even if it was intended to hurt him he’d still think it was funny
– And yes, there’s no way to tell what sort of gift someone might receive from him, it may be heartfelt or ridiculous, be careful accepting his presents
– Actually he’ll probably go the whole nine yards and get someone two gifts, one a joke gift and one a real gift because he really does care
– Would (dramatically) apologize a million times if his joke gift hurt someone unless it was chuuya or kunikida
– He’s definitely the best person to have as a Secret Santa, he’ll go out of his way with the gift buuut he might spoil who it’s for in the process if he gets too excited, oops, oh well he keeps enough secrets as it is
– Would accept a gift from his enemies. A present is a present, right? And it’s the holidays, so no hard feelings!
– Did I mention that you should probably get him a gift, please do
dazaaaai 